Every day I plan on updating my journal, but then I end up doing something else. Sometimes I wonder why I even bother to re-create a new blog when I don't really use it in the end anyways. I do want to write more often, because I love and miss blogging. Updating my paper journal is not the same.
I probably should be sleeping by now - but I'm still wide awake at 12:15am and sleep is no option right now. I'm feeling so upset today and I don't even really know why. Actually I have been feeling like this for weeks already. I just keep wondering and thinking about why it's so hard for me to trust people nowadays. I meet new people here and there and most of them are wonderful people, probably trust-worthy...yet I find myself doubting every word they speak when it comes to me or friendships in general. I've been taken for granted, stabbed in the back and betrayed so many times before that I put up this really huge wall around me and it's almost impossible for me to let anyone in. It scares me sometimes - because I don't want to feel or be like this for the rest of my life. Friendships are - in my opinion - one of the most important things in life. Right next to families. Everything seems to easier with a good friend by your side.

I miss my best friend so much - I really wish she lived closer. It'd make everything easier - at least that's what I'd like to think.

Onto something completely different. I finally sold my very first felty yesterday. The white skull with the pink bow that I posted and talked about before. I was so happy when I got the E-Mail from ebay - telling me the skull has been sold. :D Yippie! It's not a lot and may not seem like a big deal to most people, but it means a lot to me. Finally my hard work is paying off. So I saved up to 55€uros now and it's time to pay some bills. All my money - that I make from selling the felties or Photoshop actions go straight to my bank account to pay bills, etc. It's sad, but also a really good feeling. :)

I can't wait to get the felt, which I ordered a few days ago, in the mail!

Labels: crafts, friendship, me, photography, picture